Last weekend, Daniel & I celebrated our one year wedding anniversary. Boy oh boy! You certainly can learn so much about yourself as well as your husband in one year! He surprised me with a one night stay at the Grove Park Inn located in Asheville, North Carolina… including a whole day to spend at their spa! Talk about feeling pampered! I even splurged on a (way too expensive) peach bellini. So totally worth it though.
BUT what’s funny about marriage is that you realize how selfish you are. Here’s the scoop: In the weeks leading up to our “surprise anniversary trip” I was trying so hard to read his clues. I would ask him to give me hints as to where we were going, what we would do, how long it would take to drive there, if we would be back in time for our church dinner on Sunday… & I had been trying to give Daniel clues that I wanted to go to Charleston at some point this year. A couple days before we left on our weekend trip, Daniel told me he hoped I wouldn’t be disappointed (!!) when I find out what we were doing for our anniversary. So he told me that on Friday morning we were leaving for the Grove Park Inn & spending the day getting a couples massage & enjoying their spa & we would be staying there that night. My face must have fallen because in that moment he said “I knew you’d be disappointed.”
Wow. I felt like a complete turd. I had pumped myself up for a weekend in Charleston even though I wasn’t even sure we would be going there. & when Daniel told me what we were actually doing I felt sort of bummed in that moment. I had to throw some imaginary ice cold water in my face & snap out of it because WHAT WOMAN WOULD BE DISAPPOINTED TO SPEND A DAY AT THE SPA WITH HER HUBBY? I had to come back down to reality.
My husband planned a romantic getaway for our first anniversary & he could see it in my face that I was hoping for something else.
Again, wow. I probably over-apologized for the way I reacted & had an over-excited attitude just to let him know how grateful I truly, truly was for what he planned for us. I will never forget the way he reacted to my reaction. It’s heartbreaking when you put expectations (that he doesn’t know about) on your husband & when he doesn’t meet them, it hurts both of you.
This is just one example of my recent selfishness with many more to follow, I assume. I wanted to share this because it’s raw & real. You know what the craziest part of the story is? Daniel took us to Charleston anyways. He hadn’t planned anything for the next night, so we hopped in his company car & drove to the very end of Interstate 26 (I love how Charleston is so easy to find from where we live). But that’ll be another post for another day.
My husband is home to me. How are you & your spouse creating your life together?